Making the decision to give your baby up for adoption is difficult. However, choosing an adoptive family once the decision has been made can be even harder. What is it that makes another person or couple just right for the job of raising your baby? The answer to that question varies from birth mother to birth mother, but it's important to have a general idea of what you want to look for when you start interviewing prospective adoptive parents. Here are some ideas that can help you identify some characteristics that you should be looking for in an adoptive household for your child.

Family Type

There is no one perfect type of family. You may meet with traditional couples, same-sex couples, and single people who are looking to adopt. Some may not have any children yet, and others may already have one or several biological or adopted children. Any of these families may give your child a great home. However, you may have an idea of what you want your future child's family to look like, and it's OK to limit your search to families who meet that vision.

An adoption agency can be very helpful in filtering the prospective parents out there and arranging meetings with those who best fit your preferences. For example, do you want your child to have lots of siblings? If so, ask your adoption agency to arrange interviews with adoptive parents who already have children, or at least with parents who are open to having or adopting more than just your child. Don't be afraid of expressing your preferences.

Parenting Style

It can be tough to gauge the parenting style of a prospective adoptive parent or parents, especially if they don't already have kids. As most parents know, what you think you may do as a parent is often different than what you actually end up doing when faced with a real child in real-world circumstances. However, there are some cues you can look for in the interview that will tell you something about how the prospective parent might parent.

Do they have a good sense of humor? The ability to laugh is important to getting through some of the rougher parts of parenting. Do they display compassion and empathy toward you? They'll show that same compassion and empathy to your child. Are they willing to say "I don't know" or "it depends" when asked how they'd handle a sticky parenting issue? The fact that they don't have rigid, set-in-stone answers may mean they'll be more flexible and open to new ideas and information as parents.

Adoption Attitudes

You should also be looking for the prospective parents' attitude toward the adoption itself. Are they interested in an open adoption, or do they want to sever communication entirely after the adoption is final? Will they tell your child that they're adopted? What information will they share with your child about you?

The current trend in the adoption field is toward open adoption, with at least 67% of private adoptions having some degree of openness. There are many reasons for this, from the birth mother's preference that she not lose contact with her child entirely to the belief that an open adoption is better for the child themselves in the long run. However, the most important thing here is that you choose an adoptive family whose views align with yours on this issue. If you know that you don't want to be contacted by your child or their adoptive family later, you should choose an adoptive family that shares your commitment to a closed adoption, and vice versa if you know that you want to remain involved in your child's life even after the adoption.

To some extent, you may need to rely on your gut instincts when it comes to choosing the right family for your baby. However, the clearer the picture in your mind of the type of family you want your child to have, the parenting style you want them raised with, and the type of adoption you want, the easier it will be to recognize the right family when you see them. For more information on placing your child for adoption, check out a site like http://www.achildsdream.org.

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